The Shorewood School District reversed a decision to cancel its drama club's performance of "To Kill a Mockingbird," announcing Saturday that it would allow the play to be performed on one night only.
But before Wednesday's performance, Shorewood High School must host what's being billed as a "community conversation about race" from 7:30 to 9:00 Tuesday night.
In light of that capitulation to the ignorant social justice left, The Dan O'Donnell Show has created a list of other problema
Dan O'Donnell runs down some more problematic classic literature that the Shorewood School District might want to reconsider teaching.
“Pride and Prejudice” may be read only after students sign a waiver that acknowledges that the Shorewood School District in no way endorses prejudice.
Sophomore Literature curriculum may include the reading of “Moby Dick” if teachers first invite representatives from PETA to speak to their classes about the horrors of the whaling industry.
The drama club will be allowed to perform Macbeth so long as there is a disclaimer that Wiccans may find the chant of “double double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron” offensive to their proud religion.
Students may read “Don Quixote” if teachers inform them that the protagonist’s repeated attacks on windmills are wrong and that Shorewood High School does not in any way condone vandalism and property damage.
Homer’s “The Iliad” will be read following a presentation on the evils of colonialism and its devastating impact on native Trojans.
The winter performance of “Phantom of the Opera” may proceed so long as the drama club agrees to never require less physically attractive students to haunt the bowels of the theater while more attractive students sing on stage.
Honors English teachers will assign students to read “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”...following a lengthy discussion of why it is unacceptable to stigmatize those suffering from multiple personality disorder.
“The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is inappropriate, not because of its use of the n-word, but because its portrayal of Huck’s father as a drunk is offensive to single parents.
Teachers may assign “The Old Man and the Sea” if they tell students that calling someone an “old man” is ageism and not appropriate in any circumstances.
Likewise, “Little Women” may be taught only if teachers stress that women and women’s issues are never “little.”
“The Great Gatsby” can be taught in class if teachers stress to students that it is wrong to glamorize the top 1%.
Students may read “The Picture of Dorian Gray” as long as they attend a panel discussion on self-esteem and are assured that they are beautiful on the inside and don’t need a magical painting to age for them as they remain young and beautiful.
“A Tale of Two Cities” can be taught if it is made clear to students that the opening line “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” does not apply in 2018, since it is most definitely not the best of times in Trump’s America.
“Treasure Island” is only acceptable if teachers stress sensitivity to those who self-identify as privateers and recognize that the term “pirate” is offensive.
Similarly, “Gulliver’s Travels” may be read only if offensive references to little people as “Lilliputians” are censored.
While “Farenheit 451” is an excellent choice to teach students about the dangers of offensive literature and why such literature must be removed at all costs, teachers must instruct students about proper fire safety before allowing them to burn books that might offend them.