The 10 Steps of a Proper Liberal Response to a Terror Attack

1.  Hear about a terror attack; insist for hours that it wasn’t Islamic terrorism and that others are racist for thinking that it could be Islamic terrorism.

2.  Watch as witnesses say they heard the attacker shout “Allahu Akbar!” Write a tweet lamenting Islamophobia. 


3.  Learn that the attack was, in fact, Islamic terrorism; insist this was just a “lone wolf” who watched too many ISIS videos on YouTube.  

4.  Learn that it wasn’t just a “lone wolf,” but rather part of a broader plot.  Ignore the ramifications of this, search social media for the trending hashtag in support of the city that was attacked.  

5.  No matter how ridiculous the connection is, tie the attack to a Trump policy or Republican budget cuts.  


6. As the attacker is identified, crow about the fact that he wasn’t a Syrian refugee, but was instead born and raised in the country that he attacked.  Wonder what could have prompted a seemingly well-adjusted, educated young man to turn to violence (could it have been income inequality?  Islamophobia? Climate change?)  

7.  Learn that the attacker recently visited a Middle Eastern country to receive terrorist training and had been known to his country’s government; applaud said government for not spying on him or detaining him simply for being a Muslim.  

8.  Change Facebook profile picture to a flag of the country that was attacked.  

9.  Worry about how the attack will impact the city’s relationship with its Muslim community while retweeting an inspiring story of survival or heroism along with the phrase “Love will always conquer hate.” 


10. Stop thinking about the attack altogether.  After all, it happened what, two, three days ago?


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