Well, I never thought I would do a FASHION post! This is so awesome.Courtesy of "Dirty Jobs" host and founder of the Mike Rowe Works foundation, Mike Rowe, I give to you the "PRE-MUDDIED" denim jean from Nordstroms. Yes folks, for a cool $450 breeze through your substantial bank account entirely funded by your PARENTS, you can LOOK like you work for a living, even when you are just hanging out on your parents' sofa, bitching about not being able to get a cush, high paying job w/your anthro major! Imagine how AWESOME and "authentic" these would look paired with your dad's crystal high ball glass filled w/Bulleit Bourbon, served neat?! Oh, and don't forget the MATCHING JACKET! Dirty denim on dirty denim is so "NOW"!
And because you don't actually WANT to DO a "dirty job", because hey, you have a degree from an elite institution of higher education and you care too much about your carbon footprint and social justice to work construction, or landscaping, or mechanics or on a factory floor--you can simply don these togs, and steep in the irony of pretending to be a struggling working man who voted for Trump while you check your Instagram or Tindr account on your iPhone 7s. And make sure to wear these the next time you tweet out a #RESISTANCE demand for free college or a $15/hour #LivingWage! It's a laugh riot, I tell you!
I think Nordstrom missed an opportunity, though! Those boots the model is wearing look WAY TOO CLEAN. New boots are a tell. Here is my gozillion dollar idea for the coddled-class: pre-worn work boots? You're welcome!
And since I KNOW you want to be HEALTHY, and have your parents' money to burn, why not get yourself the super-tech, uber cool, Elon-Musk-approved JUICERO while you're at it!But don't be angry, young millennials identifying as sensitive, caring, feminist, yet still male men when someone who really does work for a living kicks your candy ass in a bar. He just probably doesn't much like that you're not really WOKE to his WORK. Mmkay?