One Mask, Two Masks, I Mask, You Mask


Since we're living in a world of Dr. Seuss science advice where suddenly everyone should be wearing two masks, what better way to cover it than with a Dr. Seuss poem?

One mask, two mask, I mask, you mask.
He masks, she masks, old masks, new masks.
This one is N95.
This one keeps your mom alive.
Say! You should wear them when you drive.

Yes, when you’re alone, or in your home
You still need a mask around your dome.
Masks are good for you and me
And two are better than one, you see.
But why two masks for you and me?
I do not know, ask the CDC.

From there to here,
From here to there,
Double masks are everywhere.
Here are some that you can weave.
And here are some that won’t let you breathe.
Here are some that will make you giggle.
And here are some that let you virtue signal.

I wear two masks to save your life,
And your parents, kids, and wife.
Now you wear two to save all mine,
If you don’t my grandma dies.

I wear two masks to show I care.
Oops! I just passed out for lack of air.
Masks get bigger and masks get littler
And if you don’t wear two, you’re worse than Hitler.

One mask, two masks, three masks, four masks
We should be wearing even more masks.
Five masks, six masks, even seven
Why stop there? Just wear eleven.
What’s that you say? More masks don’t work?
Quit being anti-science, jerk.

Wear 15 masks at home, at work,
In bed, the bath, or in the shower
Wear 20 masks every hour!
If you don’t I’ll call the cops
‘Til all this anti-masking stops

Wear 30 masks ‘til you’re vaccinated
And then you might be liberated.
Wait, never mind, new science came out
You must wear masks forever, there is no doubt
Don’t complain and please don’t shout
Just put on 50 masks and shut your mouth.