Mandela Barnes is Hosting a Virtual Story Time, So We Picked his First Book

Lieutenant Governor Mandela Barnes is hosting a "virtual story time" for parents and their young children, and we simply couldn't help ourselves.

Barnes has faced some scrutiny for failing to pay property taxes and then repeatedly lying about it as well as for using the Wisconsin State Patrol as his own personal limo service after failing to pay parking tickets and having his driver's license suspended.

So we here at "The Dan O'Donnell Show" decided to incorporate the Lieutenant Governor's bill problems into what we think should be his very first story time selection: "Oh the Taxes You'll Dodge:"

Today is tax day
But you don’t have to pay them
No how and no way.
You’re the Lieutenant Gov,
And set rules for others
But follow those rules?
Pffft, don’t even bother.
Oh, the taxes you’ll dodge!
On your condo for years
Thousands of dollars
All in arrears
Today is the deadline…
But don’t worry about it.
You’ll think of a plan
to get right around it.
“I’m paying installments,”
You’ll lie with a grin
“Uhhh, no you’re not,” says the City
much to your chagrin.
“It sat on the fridge a little too long”
You’ll lie once again
Then storm out of interviews
When asked to explain.
Oh the taxes you’ll dodge!
Parking tickets, too.
‘Till your license is suspended
But here’s what you’ll do!
State troopers will drive you
Wherever you want
Whether it’s work-related
Or whether it’s not.
You’re just so important
You have to be driven
To church and to dinner?
Well yeah, that’s a given.
Why bother paying fines?
You’ve got a free car
And with it free chauffeurs
That’s how great you are.
Taxpayers will cover
Each one of your bills
Even if they don’t want to
It’s part of the deal.
They’re stuck with you now
And all your bad choices
Just call them all racist
To silence their voices
Oh the taxes you’ll dodge!
Oh the taxes you’ll dodge!
Sure, the people might wail
Just tell one last lie:
“The check’s in the mail.”

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