A More Honest Evers Budget Address

Governor Tony Evers has unveiled his new biennial budget and it's...well, it's something. From driver's licenses for illegal immigrants to a billion dollars in tax increases to literally dozens of other far-left radical proposals, it's clear that Governor Evers isn't serious about getting his budget through a Republican-controlled State Legislature.

In other words, it's an unserious budget from an unserious Governor. And how do we at The Dan O'Donnell Show deal with an unserious Governor? With unserious coverage, of course!

Once again, The Dan O'Donnell Show presents a totally real, definitely not satirical take on Wisconsin's new Governor:

 

My fellow Wisconsinites, we meet tonight to talk about my budget, and I know that’s not the most exciting thing in the world. And I know I’m not the exciting guy in the world.But tonight we can change that. I can be exciting. The most exciting episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show was when she gave things away. At least I’m told it was the most exciting episode.I never watched. Oprah came on during my nap. But I want you to look under your seats.That’s right. You get a tax increase! And you get a tax increase! And you get a tax increase! You all get tax increases!

See, isn’t this exciting? Just like Oprah, I’m giving away my favorite things: tax increases! I know I said on the campaign trail I wouldn’t raise taxes; well who’s boring and predictable now? You want to drive a car? Tax increase. You want to live in a house? Tax increase. You want to pay your heating and electric bills? Tax increase.

You think this Governor isn’t exciting? You think his budget isn’t exciting? What’s more exciting than a billion dollars in tax increases? What’s more exciting than every man, woman, and child in this state having to suddenly figure out how to manage $1,000 a year in new taxes? Have you ever been struggling financially and then suddenly get hit with a thousand dollar bill? That’s exciting!

Now I’ve heard Republicans grumbling that all I’m giving out are tax increases. That’s not true. This budget is so exciting that it’s also giving illegal immigrants voter ID cards, errrrrr, I mean driver’s licenses. Driver’s licenses that absolutely won’t be used to vote for me in four years.

I’m also giving out marijuana! And what’s more exciting than someone who has smoked marijuana? Now I know Republicans don’t think decriminalizing marijuana is a good idea, that way more people will be smoking marijuana now: But think about it, with all my tax increases, no one will be able to afford marijuana.

I’m a Democrat: I’m always thinking ahead.That’s why I’m also giving out tens of millions of dollars to fix the water crisis in Milwaukee that Democrats created, then ignored, then lied to people about.If there’s one thing I know, it’s that the only solution to a failed Democrat policy is another Democrat policy.

That’s what this budget is about; fixing problems. We have a major problem with a 500 million dollar budget surplus. My budget will fix that by creating an 800 million dollar deficit.We have a major problem with a low tax burden. My budget will fix that with a billion dollars in new taxes.

That’s just good policy. That’s exciting policy. Thank you, may God bless Wisconsin, and may God help you all in trying to pay for all of this.

Dan O'Donnell

Dan O'Donnell

Common Sense Central is edited by WISN's Dan O'Donnell. Dan provides unique conservative commentary and analysis of stories that the mainstream media often overlooks. Read more

title

Content Goes Here