Dan O'Donnell presents a parody of Governor Evers' first State of the State that is a heck of a lot more honest than Evers' was:
My fellow Wisconsinites, I’m Tony Evers, the 46th Governor of this great state, and on behalf of my employers at the Wisconsin Teachers Union, I am here to tell you that the state of our state is strong.
We have a $588.5 million budget surplus and $1.53 billion in our General Fund. We have $320.1 million in our “rainy day” fund.
Our unemployment rate is at or near all-time lows of between 2.8 percent and 3.0 percent.
Manufacturing jobs have returned and wage growth is outpacing the national average. Poverty is down and everyone who wants a job can have one.
But enough about what Scott Walker did. I’m here to tell you what I’m going to do to screw it all up.
I want to raise taxes on the rich because they’re rich and pretend they aren’t the ones creating the jobs in this state. I want as many businesses to leave because our corporate tax rates are too high.
I want a return to the Doyle years, when we had a $3.6 billion budget shortfall and just $71 million in the general fund plus almost nothing in the “rainy day” fund.
That’s why I am proposing the exact same policies that led to an 8.2% unemployment rate and 13% poverty rate when Governor Doyle left office.
The people of Wisconsin spoke this November and they said they were tired of prosperity. They were tired of jobs. They wanted change. They wanted new blood. But they got me instead, I guess because I have a D next to my name and have a pulse...at least most of the time.
That’s why I’m calling on the Legislature not to submit their own budget; because it will show the people of Wisconsin that they know what they’re doing, and I don’t. It will remind the people of Wisconsin what has worked for the past eight years and my budget will only remind them of what failed the eight years before that.
My fellow Wisconsinites, I’m asking you to once again choose failure. You voted for it—at least you people in Milwaukee and Madison did –now you have to with it.
Thank you, may God bless you, and may God have mercy on us all.