Oh really? Why aren’t you dreaming of a Black Christmas or a Brown Christmas? Racism, that’s why. This carol is unacceptable.
All I Want for Christmas is You
By saying you want a person for Christmas, you objectify that person and deny them their humanity. This song is basically calling for slavery to come back.
Frosty the Snowman
This is unconscionable, as it just assumes Frosty’s gender. How do we know he, she, or xe is not a snow-woman or any of the 46 other snow-genders?
Let it Snow
This rather obviously denies the reality of climate change. If man keeps burning fossil fuels, our grandchildren won’t have the luxury of letting it snow.
I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
This song reinforces the oppressive heteronormative patriarchy. A far more acceptable version would be “I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Claus.”
It is, for the deaf. In fact, every night is a silent night. Why would we mock them by singing about it?
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Again, if I I’m hearing impaired, I don’t. And this song stigmatizes me if I don’t. It’s insulting and unacceptable.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
It is simply reprehensible that someone would uproot an innocent partridge from its home in a pear tree and give it as a gift. Animals have rights, too.
Run, Run Rudolph
Yes, Rudolph, run. Run from the NRA goons chasing you with AR-15s in the barbaric custom known as “deer hunting season.”
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
This song promotes the dangerous stereotype that only men can be merry.
Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town
“You better watch out, you better not cry” imposes rigid gender norms on males, teaching them that it is unacceptable for them to cry or to show emotion at all, associating this with women and weakness and thus upholding the patriarchy.
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
This, of course, discriminates against other times of the year. By singling one time out as the most wonderful, we establish the idea that some are better than others, and whether we are talking about seasons or people, this is simply unacceptable.
I’ll Be Home for Christmas
What about the homeless? Because of our capitalist greed, they have no home on Christmas. How dare we rub it in their faces.